Every week, the Grand Hotel in Scarborough seems to have at least two or three visits from fire engines, lights flashing and sirens err... sirening!

There never seems to be a fire, but they keep coming! I wonder whether it has anything to do with the ambulances that turn up nearly every day! servicing the coaches that turn up full of crinkleys, who seem never to leave?!

Is there some sort of Soilent Green type thing going on? feeding yorkshire with its own old folk?

I pose the question: does this have anything to do with Scarborough's 'Meat' factory? With its Polish butchers? Is this a secret EU regualation that we have yet to learn about?

Who knows?! But I know one thing, I won't be visiting Scarborough in my Twilight years, just in case they try to eat me!

(I can't wait to eat that monkey!) - Abe Simpson